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May 2018

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Why Is the Initially Date the Toughest?

The very first date is the hardest due to the fact you’re assembly someone for the very first time. Whilst you have noticed their shots and browse their profile, you still surprise what they glance like in person. You want to make a excellent impact and you concern they will not likely like you. Always be yourself and your very first date will go a whole lot smoother. You’ve got seemed ahead to this date hoping it will not likely be a catastrophe.

Most singles are seeking for the aspiration date in hopes that it turns into a terrific partnership. It sets in panic and pressure, creating it hard to manage a discussion. You fear about the way you glance, and the apparel you’re wearing. Program forward on what you’re heading to chat about and how you’re heading to current yourself.

There are so numerous issues heading on in your head that your creativeness is out of command. The opposite could transpire this sort of as a guy that wishes to have a 1 night stand, although you’re seeking for a partnership. Then you have to begin all in excess of again. If you had been matched properly, then both singles are normally experience the same strain.

The two profiles ought to be a match for compatibility. If not, your date either lied on his profile or the dating service did a terrible job screening him. When you meet up with your date for the very first time, try to chat to him as he was 1 of your buddies. Conversation is possibly the hardest, so if you can master that, it will make the date significantly simpler for you.

Locate widespread pursuits that will aid the partnership prosper. Several partners have married by a dating service living a joyful daily life. That is the strategy of a profile to meet up with the appropriate person. It normally takes fewer than a moment to know if you like someone, so if you imagine this is the guy of your desires, then preserve the first date brief.

If the very first date went very well, then the next date will be significantly simpler. If you both like every other, you can plan a next date for a longer time. As you proceed dating this person, you will get to know him and you can expect to both have hobbies and curiosity you can get concerned in. As soon as you get by the very first date, it gets simpler.

The first date can guide to a excellent partnership, so make guaranteed your profile matches your date. I know of a pair that satisfied by a dating service and it was appreciate at very first sight. It was in the previous school days prior to the dating web pages. They have been happily married for 30 several years.

Relationship Recommendations For Men – Recommendations On How Men Can Carry Out A Thriving Day

Dating is a really intricate point. It is a dance that requires to men and women who are initially captivated to just about every other and would like to come across out if it can be achievable for them to just take on the up coming phase which is exclusive relationship.

It is a widespread information that men typically make the first phase throughout relationship. It is them who typically request the women for dates. Thus, there are a number of guidelines that men would need to have to contemplate in order to have out a unique day effectively. If you are a person who is about to contemplate relationship, there are a number of relationship guidelines for men under that you may well desire to contemplate:

The Suitable Method

So you want to go request a distinctive female out on a day. What can maybe be the most correct technique? You will need to have to contemplate her form of identity. Also, get ready on your own for the achievable rejection. Not all women will just take kindly to a person who asks rudely so make the inquiring a respectful one. Show her that you are seriously interested and that you are critically hoping she’s say yes to a day with you.

The Scheduled Date

At the time you have effectively questioned a female for a day and she says yes, you will need to have to contemplate what working day and time that will be. Question her straight out what program would be easy for her. At the time you have both equally agreed on a unique program, make sure that you show up for the day punctually. Punctuality is a need to and it displays that you are a liable person.

The Flowers

It is a fantastic concept to invest in bouquets for your day. Girls will constantly enjoy a bouquet and it displays that you are thoughtful plenty of to think of bringing a thing when you show up on her doorstep or the place you agreed to meet up with at.

The Location

You will need to have to come across a correct venue for a day. Make sure that your day is familiar with beforehand what the day will compose of so that she will know what to use. A shock venue will be for afterwards. Recall that you are nevertheless on the first phase and that you will not want her to sense not comfortable all in the course of the day.

Conclusions

Fellas will typically just take the initiative to call for a day. Thus, it is predicted that the person will know how to act adequately throughout the day. Following all, it will be that first day that will decide either the start off of a beautiful marriage or the conclusion of a relationship marriage that has only commenced. Pursuing the relationship guidelines for men stated higher than will assist you enormously in order to have out a prosperous day.

Subjects You Should Under no circumstances Focus on on a Very first Date

Dialogue can be difficult plenty of on a first day, but the past factor you want is for your discussion matter to be the reason why the day was not a achievement. What ever you make a decision to focus on, make positive it truly is not all about you. It’s alright to converse a little bit about on your own, but check out to pay back attention and demonstrate an curiosity to your day too. Dialogue is really critical, so you need to demonstrate your day that you can hold a decent discussion.

By no means converse about your ex partner. Apart from making your day sense unpleasant, they will suppose you nevertheless have emotions for your ex and are secretly hoping to get again together. Your day will believe you are not all set to go on and will give up on striving to make the day a achievement. We all have exes and they are exes for a reason, so it truly is not a discussion your day would like to share with you.

Income is an unpleasant matter to focus on. Whether you have hundreds or not a great deal, no a person needs to listen to you moan about how skint you are or listen to you boast about how a great deal you get paid or have in the lender. The only kinds fascinated in your financial scenario are those people who are not fascinated in you, just your funds. It’s not a great plan to check with your day about their funds or how a great deal they get paid it is intrusive and off-placing. If they are fascinated in the true you, funds will not likely subject.

Conversing about sexual intercourse and your sexual encounters on a first day is hardly ever a great plan. Apart from scaring your day off, you risk supplying off the improper impact and show up like you’re only after a person factor. This is a matter that can be discussed at a long run day.

Conversing about marriage on a first day is specified to scare your day off. It may possibly be your long-time period program, but mentioning it on a first day definitely will not likely make your program seem real looking any time quickly. Courting is all about finding to know a person and savoring on your own a first day is much too quickly to be preparing your wedding day together. By chatting about weddings and how a lot of toddlers you’d like to have, you’re doing a great occupation of guaranteeing a 2nd day will not likely materialize.

Always check out to remain constructive and converse about constructive issues. Conversing about negative issues will not likely do you any favours, it will bring the total mood of the day down, therefore check out to steer clear of any sad stories you have. By being constructive, your positivity will rub off on those people close to you and you will demonstrate that you are a genuinely happy and secure human being.

By no means criticise your day it is needless and upsetting. If there is a component of your date’s lifetime they are self-aware about, such as their look, their occupation or how they converse, really don’t make any pointless feedback about it. It’s anything they are totally informed of and you making it an concern genuinely will not likely do you any favours. By criticising a person on a first day, whether intentional or not, you can be specified a 2nd day will not likely come about.

By no means give your day a pet identify on a first day. It may possibly seem cute to you, but it truly is much too quickly and your day will sense they have been thrown straight into a severe partnership, not just a enjoyable first day. If you want to make it to a 2nd day, stick to applying their true identify.

Attempt not to comment on any one close to you, whether it truly is to compliment or giggle at a person. By complementing a further human being, you are not displaying any regard for your day and they’re going to sense unimportant, specially if you mention how eye-catching a person is. By heartlessly laughing at some others you will come throughout as being immature and not a really good human being. Keep centered on your day and dismiss those people close to you.

On line Dating Perceptions

Social networking and online dating is at the moment the scorching development and many persons are turning to world wide web dating internet sites to uncover buddies, romance, love and connections. Numerous persons are extra comfortable with dating online, considering the fact that some of them may possibly be shy and have a concern of face to face rejection. This is a single of the factors why world wide web dating has come to be so well-liked these times.

With the increase of world wide web and modifications in modern day lifestyles, world wide web dating has come to be really well-liked amongst daters of all ages. Owing to fast paced everyday living schedules, persons have moved to chat rooms and skilled dating expert services to uncover their everyday living associate. The internet dating industry has been steadily escalating, even all through the global economic downturn and economic slowdown.

Regular methods of dating these kinds of as conference in bars and eating places are really high priced in comparison to online dating. And persons can now access and satisfy way extra persons by internet dating expert services then by any of their networks and buddies. This is a further factors why world wide web matchmaking expert services are coming so well-liked.

These online skilled dating expert services match subscribers centered on metrics these kinds of as education and learning, profession, hobbies, and values. These internet sites also carry out temperament assessments to identify the ideal match. So with the aid of science, these internet sites promise to present prolonged long lasting romantic relationship.

SOCIAL STIGMA

Although the perception of dating online has been changing, there are even now some persons that are ashamed to be connected to locating romance through web-site dating expert services. Despite the fact that even those people teams (like more mature, divorced persons) are now starting to heat up to the notion.

There is also some misguided beliefs that online daters are determined and undesirable. That is just a fantasy and these times everybody from company persons, to non-revenue administrators, to govt workers are locating love and companionship online.

Success IN Web Courting

There are some problems connected with online dating that persons need to be cautious of:

    • Honesty: Some persons may possibly simply just use this option to dupe other people by not disclosing their accurate selves or scenarios.
    • Distorted Notion: Some persons may possibly fill out their profiles entirely completely wrong in purchase to catch the attention of persons they imagine may possibly not otherwise want to get to know them.
    • Addictive: Some persons have been known to produce extra than a single profile and link with extra than a single associate simultaneously, just to have enjoyment with his/her varying online temperament.

Success in online dating normally takes becoming open up (but not far too open up) and trustworthy about who you are and what you might be looking for in a associate. If you are looking to just flirt and satisfy a lot of new persons, do not say you want to get married just to get extra persons interested in you.

Presence OF A variety of On line Internet sites

On line profiles do not come with any assures but there are many online dating internet sites that use verification steps, these kinds of as verifying cellular numbers and these kinds of. Security measures are also taken by many dating internet sites, these kinds of as profiles becoming invisible to not known individuals.

Numerous internet sites give chat rooms, discussion boards and movie-chats to help larger authenticity of online daters. And many dating expert services give filters that let interested individuals to fill in the needed primary characteristics in their possible associates.

Every single 12 months new online dating internet sites spring up providing security measures, chemistry matches, and chatting solutions for those people seeking love. Perceptions of online dating are promptly changing and world wide web dating internet sites will shortly be the quantity a single mainstream way to uncover intimate passions.

 

There are now many online dating expert services these kinds of as Match, A good deal Of Fish, eHarmony, Chemistry.com, Best Match, and Christian Mingle to identify just a number of. A good deal Of Fish is even now thought of the greatest, and is free of charge (despite the fact that if you want extras you can expect to need to upgrade.) Other folks can cost rather a little bit of revenue, some up to $fifty a month, for their expert services. It really is best to shop all-around to start with, examining the rates and security measures, and examining out any matching/chemistry tools that assist in locating compatible matches.

 

Prevent Likely To These Areas On Your Very first Day

Initially impressions are all the things, so it is really important to make a fantastic just one on your initial date. It really is not all about chemistry and dialogue, although it unquestionably will help. If you don’t strike it off on the initial date, the prospects of obtaining a 2nd are slim to none. Your initial date is a opportunity to get to know the human being you’d like a marriage with, so deciding upon a fantastic locale is important. The areas shown are study success from a well known on the web relationship web-site. The listing is requested from areas to prevent to areas that would make a fantastic date.

The initial location you should really completely prevent getting a initial date, is a spouse and children perform of any type. I am baffled that some persons would in fact provide an individual to a spouse and children perform on their initial, 2nd or even third date. The additional pressure of impressing not only you but also your spouse and children may possibly send out your date running for the hills. Not to point out that when family members get jointly, there is usually some type of shenanigans heading on and that could get embarrassing.

The 2nd location you should really prevent are dance golf equipment. Dance golf equipment are crowded, noisy, and entire of men searching to choose up females. The aim of a initial date isn’t really to see if your dates’ hips don’t lie but to see if they have marriage possible and if you have chemistry jointly. If you just have to consider your date and your jazz fingers out for a spin on the dance flooring, find a classier location to dance – not a club. In addition to golf equipment, you should really also prevent getting your date to a bar.

Relocating along to the up coming locale: motion pictures. The fantasy of building a connection through an accidental grope when achieving for popcorn died with 90s. As I’ve said right before the initial date is all about finding to know your date, not sitting in silence staring at a monitor.

Sporting situations are also a location to prevent. Sporting activities tends to provide out the macho alpha-male in males and tends to be a turn-off for most girls. The combination of drunk offended supporters, confront-paint and sounds will not exactly scream romance both.

These are the areas you should really prevent on a initial date. The environment is the most important factor of a initial date. You could be the sweetest, romantic human being in the planet but if you go to a movie, how is your date suppose to see that in you? When you happen to be hoping to figure out the place to consider your date, be original and stunning. Alternatively of getting your date to that great ninja-themed restaurant, test an evening stroll with street foodstuff and performers. Cheap foodstuff and a show. If you met the human being on an on the web relationship web-site, test out their profile to see what they like and test to healthy that into the date.

Men to Avoid Dating – A Girl’s Conversation Cheat Sheet

Are you a single woman trying to find your Mr. Right? Then you need my ‘Conversation Cheat Sheet’. It helps you avoid meeting or considering a first date with a guy who is wrong for you. My cheat sheet works best when you haven’t met the guy yet. Let’s say you’ve started talking on the phone after he’s contacted you from an internet dating site. My cheat sheet shows you how to find those red flags that tell you when the guy is “bad news”. The most important thing you must realize is that talking on the phone at length with a guy you’re considering meeting for first time or even considering a first date with after you briefly met  each, is very important if you are looking to find a potential “friend/companion with benefits, love interest, or dating partner”. Screening a guy on the phone is crucial. Why?

Well, the 1st reason you must talk at length on the phone before you meet him or date him is because you have to find out about his “attitude” about key things in his life, including his attitude about himself and the people in his life. Believe it or not, a guy’s attitude about his life is easy to detect when you talk on the phone once you know what questions to ask and how to read his attitude in his answers. And that’s why I devised this cheat sheet; to show you how to read his attitude. You can figure out his attitude about a lot of things in just a few phone conversations. And that attitude will tell you how well he will treat you, whether you are compatible, and whether he can offer you what you are looking for in a dating relationship. Find this hard to believe? Are you saying to yourself right about now, “Yeh, right, I barely got to know my boyfriend after dating him 6 months, so how will I know anything about a guy in just 2 phone conversations?” Well, most women do find out a lot about a guy’s attitude on a myriad of things in just a few phone conversations, but they do not consciously acknowledge seeing these things to themselves. That’s because they are so intent on landing a guy, that they just want him to like her and desire her. They just worry about the guy wanting them instead of focusing on whether the guy is even right for them. And that’s the problem with feeling desperate about getting a boyfriend. You make choices based on fear, and not based on truly loving and caring about yourself.

The 2nd reason you must use this cheat sheet and screen a guy on the phone is because you must get in touch with YOUR ATTITUDE ABOUT THE GUY’S ATTITUDE. Yes, believe it or not, we usually have already established in our mind subconsciously an attitude about the guy we’ve spoken to. We have reacted to his words and formed our own attitude about his attitude on life and buried it deep inside us. So, this cheat sheet is really a way for us to acknowledge what we already see about him and unearth our attitude about it. We will see if he is going to have an attitude that focuses on us and respects us and treats us well. We will frankly see our attitude about his attitude towards his ex. We will acknowledge when we don’t like his attitude about blaming his wife for everything. We will acknowledge how we feel, which is “if he can talk this way about her, he can treat us in the same disrespectful way.” We often “blindly” see red flags about the guys we date and ignore them. But when we follow the cheat sheet, we face seeing these things and don’t blindly give a guy a chance thinking this time he’ll be different with us. The truth is, for most guys, they never change how they live their life or treat women. They won’t work less, stop being promiscuous, spend less time with their kids or be less frugal with money.

One of the things women tell me when they use “the Cheat Sheet” is that they never find a guy that passes the cheat sheet test. “If I go by the cheat sheet,” then I’ll never have anyone to date” they tell me. And my answer to you is this: The cheat sheet works in miraculous ways. It helps you to eliminate many potentially bad dating partners in your life. Yes, you may have a dry spell from dating anyone for awhile, but you are also avoiding many potentially bad relationships. You may be dateless for months, passing up opportunity after opportunity with all those potentially wrong partners. And then, one day, when you are open and free and have made it clear to the universe exactly who you are looking for, that guy who passes the cheat sheet with flying colors will come into your life. Yes, you may not date as much at the beginning of using the Cheat Sheet test and that’s fine. Being selective means weeding out all those potentially wrong partners. Giving anyone a chance by dating him is just telling the universe there is something about this guy I don’t like but that’s okay. ‘”It’s okay for me to date guys that have things about them I don’ like” is the message you give the universe. Because the truth is, deep in your subconscious you are aware of the hings you don’t like about him. And that is why this type of guy keeps entering your life:  The wrong one for you that you just keep accepting.

Another reason it’s important not to meet or date a guy you’ve met right away is because, when you meet a guy and have a strong physical attraction to him, all your common sense about whether he’s right for you goes out the window. Yes, you’ll tend to overlook those red warning flags about him that will ultimately make you miserable when the sexual chemistry starts to wane in the relationship. The Cheat Sheet gives you red warning flags about a GUY’S ATTITUDE that shows whether he is capable of being a caring and giving love partner. It gets you in touch with your attitude about whether he is right for you. Most women look at statistical facts about a guy to decide if he is dating worth dating her. But statistical facts mean very little. Why? Because a guy can make $150,000 yearly and be so cheap that he acts like he earns $35,000 yearly; a guy can be a loving father with his kids and make them his whole life to the point of making you feel like “the other woman” in his life; a guy can have a great job and work day and night and never be there mentally or emotionally for you. Get the picture? It’s his attitude about money, his kids, and his job that matter. And this attitude is one he will show you when you talk on the phone, if you know how to look for it.

My Cheat Sheet covers a man’s attitude about these key areas of his life:
1) his attitude about past relationships with women including his wife
2) his attitude about work and play
3) his attitude about valuing the things you value in your life
4) his attitude about money
5) his attitude about sex and monogamy
6) his attitude about his hobbies and addictions
7) his attitude about his kids
8) his attitude about himself and his life in general .

There is a lot you can tell about a guy’s attitude in the key areas of his life from just a few conversations with him, without getting into details and facts about his life. Most guys are very transparent about their attitude towards women, work, money, sex, their kids, and you. It’s his attitude about these things that matter more than the facts about them. Knowing his attitude about these things just takes a few phone conversations, when you know what to talk about and focus on. And a few phone calls is a whole lot better than going out on an uncomfortable blind date and then realizing the guy isn’t for you. So if a guy pressures you to meet him right away, just say you aren’t sure yet when you’ll be free. Let him keep calling you and you’ll eventually get a good idea about his attitude on a lot of things very quickly. And if he passes the “Cheat Sheet Red Flag test”, then meet him with the positive attitude of knowing he has the potential of being a good partner for someone. And that someone might possibly be you. After all, wouldn’t you prefer to know before meeting a guy that he is cheap or a workaholic, than start dating him and finally realize it after months of dating? I know I wish I had.

So let’s get started:

The Cheat Sheet Test Red Flag #1: His Attitude about his Past Relationships with Women

You don’t need to know the details about how many women he’s dated since his divorce or how many women he’s had sex with since he left his wife, even though it would be nice to know. Most likely a guy will not want to talk about it or tell you the true details on the phone before he meets you (or possibly ever). But he will usually have something to say about his ex and why the marriage ended or why the relationship ended with his girlfriend. You must bring up the subject by asking him how long he was with his ex and why the relationship or marriage ended. Then sit back and LISTEN TO THE FIREWORKS DISPLAY! The most important thing is HIS ATTITUDE about the past women in his life. Does he act respectful towards his ex? Does he harbor angry feelings? Does he blame her for ruining his life? Does he show resentment towards her? Does he have the attitude that she was the one responsible for the marriage ending or she cheated on him? Does he have the attitude that he was a victim of her mean, cheating, unappreciative behavior? Does he own up to any part in the relationship failing? Does he refer to her using derogatory words like “bitch” or “slut”? Does he still have a good relationship with her if he shares custody of the kids with her? Another sign to look for is whether he is still emotionally attached to his ex. Does he talk about her endlessly by either talking about how much he dislikes/hates her; all the things she did to him; or can he not even bring up the subject of talking about her without looking like he’s going to implode? Some men are not emotionally over an ex, the pain or anger is deep within them and you will sense it. AVOID MEETING OR DATING GUYS LIKE THIS. If he has a healthy attitude about women and his ex, he may say very little but what he does say will sound respectful and he will act fine with the fact the relationship ended. He will not hold any grudges or harbor any ill will or deep rooted resentment and anger. When a man is narcissistic, with deep rooted anger issues towards women, he never owns up to his responsibility in a relationship or life in general. Sometimes a man is in a relationship where the woman cheats on him and he is a victim of her promiscuity, but even that kind of man is one you want to avoid. He still has intimacy issues with women. Most men who have anger towards an ex are often guilty of “objectifying” women. They see women as servants that are supposed to act and be a certain way; more as their possessions to control. The truth is: No one person ruins a marriage or a relationship. It takes a lot of work to make a marriage work and any man who blatantly sees his partner as the one to blame for everything that went wrong is someone who didn’t care about doing his part in being giving and caring in the relationship. Don’t fall for his “feel sorry for me I was a victim of a cold, selfish, uncaring, cheating wife”. And if he claims he never had sex with his wife in the marriage for years, he’s either lying or he’s been having affair(s) throughout his marriage.

Red Flag Item #2: His Attitude about Work and Play

You don’t need to know how many hours he works but you do need to know his attitude about being busy and his attitude about what he has going on in his life. Does he act like every minute of his day is booked with some important thing going on? Does he make time to spend talking to you and does he show an interest in your life? Is he calling you when he’s driving somewhere and only has a few minutes to converse with you before he reaches his destination?

Men who are workaholics are usually “busy drones” at home, always working on some project and never being free to talk to or relate to you because they are always involved in fixing or doing something. Avoid men who say they “work hard and play hard”, that’s just “workaholic justification” babble. If a guy has the ability to relax and enjoy life, you’ll know it by what he says to you when he has to get off the phone; does he have to get back to painting the bedroom or doing some chore? And can he plan meeting you in advance? If he is a workaholic he will also have commitment issues. Does he change the day or time last minute for your first meeting? Does he always seem hurried and busy? Does he always suggest you drop everything and meet him the night he calls you? Does he make you feel like you are taking up his precious time when you talk to him? It’s amazing that in our society today, so many men are addicted to work at work and at home, and we, as a culture, embrace it. But dating a guy who makes you feel like he’s honoring you with his time is not the kind of guy you will feel fulfilled dating. He will “never mentally and emotionally be there for you”. When you talk on the phone to guys like this, you will know it. You will feel it and sense it. Don’t let the temptation to be that “all important woman that he finally cares more about than all those other precious things he has scheduled in his life” make you want to meet him or date him. You will only be that one more thing on his “to do list”. AVOID MEETING OR DATING HIM.

Red Flag #3: His Attitude about Valuing the Things You Value in Your Life

This one is really important. Are you both on the same playing field in life? Is he on a completely different planet from you? Most men I’ve dated did not relate to me in terms of accepting my interests in life. I always changed who I was to be compatible with them in every relationship. And ultimately, when I just couldn’t take not being me anymore, the relationship ended. Can you be who you truly are with this guy? I believe every woman, when they talk to a guy, get’s a feeling in her gut, whether they can be who they are in a relationship with him or whether they would have to change something about their life or themselves to make the relationship work. You will know it, by talking to him, if he’s the type of guy who’ll ever be interested in what interest you in your life. Does he ask about something you told him on the 1st phone call on his 2nd phone call to you? If you had a cold, does he ask “how’s your cold?” Or, if you were going somewhere the day he called, does he ask whether you had a good time the 2nd time he calls you? If you want a guy who’ll remember your favorite clothing store when it’s your birthday and buy you something from that store, then you’ll have to listen to how much he pays attention to the things you tell him about your life. You’ll sense it when you talk to him if he is interested in knowing about you and your interests. You’ll know when you suggest a movie you want to see or a restaurant you want to go to and he’s enthusiastic about finding out the show times for your movie or mapquesting how to get to your restaurant pick.

You’ll know how much you are compatible by how he spends his days. You’ll know how much you will have to change your life to be compatible with his by what his hobbies are. Ask him what he likes to do and what his hobbies are. You will get the feeling that your lives can mesh beautifully just as they now are, or you will get the feeling that you would have to lower your standards, change your goals, live somewhere you don’t want to live, be with kids you don’t want to be with; accept things you truly morally can’t accept; or never get along on certain subjects by what he tells you about how he lives his life. Ask him his goals in life. You might be surprised to learn he plans to move out of state in 2 years. There are so many ways a guy can look good on paper, but if you have that feeling in your gut that you would have to change an important part of you to be compatible with him, then DON’T MEET OR DATE HIM.

Red Flag #4: His Attitude about Money

Another major thing to get a good gut feeling about is his attitude about  money. Many men have emotional anger issues related to money. They feel they don’t earn enough to feel self worth; they feel like failures because they didn’t succeed in the profession their father picked for them (and their father has reminded them about this ever since); they feel their ex financially stripped them of financial stability (she got the house lament); they pay child support and feel stripped financially by their ex wife and kids. Most men are open books about their negative attitude about their finances. They will complain about their hardships or make sarcastic jokes about it. Their anger issues with money are never well hidden; you will sense when something about their financial situation just isn’t sitting right with them “emotionally”.

It’s important for you to know what you want in a relationship with a man and to honor your needs and desires. Do you want a man who can offer you financial stability, who owns his own home and can afford to take you to nice restaurant and enhance your life financially? Or, are you okay with being the one paying for things because you are financially stable? Be honest with yourself and listen to a guy’s attitude about his financial situation. If you want someone who can add to or compliment your life, do not accept meeting or dating a guy who is driving a beat up old car, and barely has enough to pay the bills after he pays for child care. DON’T MEET OR DATE MEN WHO CANNOT GIVE YOU THE FINANCIAL LIFESTYLE YOU DESIRE. Love does not conquer all. When you try to make a relationship work with a man who has anger issues with money, who never wants to spend money living the kind of life you want to live; who doesn’t have your aspirations (because he doesn’t want to put his money towards those life goals); who doesn’t care about your needs and desires with money; you will be miserable witth him. If a guy has money issues, you will know it just by the attitude he has about money. And definitely do not date anyone who is separated and not divorced. Many a relationship can become strained by divorce, because divorce is costly and can often change a man’s financial situation overnight as well as his emotional state of mind.

Red Flag #5: His Attitude about Sex and Monogamy

Men looking for a sexual fling are open books. They will only focus on the physical with you; constantly complimenting you about your appearance; and bringing up the subject of your anatomy and sex into every conversation. It isn’t worth trying to find out how many sexual partners a guy like this has had since his divorce or whether you are one of 10 women he’s trying to date this week from that internet dating site. Guys like this will never be honest about their intentions. Guys only wanting a sexual relationship or guys with sex addictions (of which there are many) who are serial daters who date until they have sex with a woman and then move on, will call you every night until they finally get to meet you and have sex with you. They must meet you immediately and can never plan a date with you in advance (or if they do, they’ll change the date and time last minute). They are guys who want to see you the day they call you. Some women are turned on by these “bad boys” because they often appeal to a woman’s vanity by making her feel like they finally found the beautiful woman of their dreams. And they always lament how, “I just can’t find the right woman who understands me” to appeal to your codependent need to help them. The more they give you the impression they need to see you immediately and not let another day go by without glancing at your gorgeous face and eyes, the more they are looking to have a sexual fling. And the more they paint themselves as victims of selfish women who mistreated them and used them, the more they are narcissistically describing themselves. DON’T MEET OR DATE GUYS LIKE THIS.

Red Flag #6: His Attitude about his Hobbies and Addictions

Many men have addictions: addictions to work, addictions to drugs, addictions to alcohol, addictions too sex, addictions to an ex. And yes, so do women. But this is our cheat sheet, and for our cheat sheet to be successful, we can’t have the addictions we are trying to avoid in the men we date. I’ve already talked about sex and work addiction. If there is one thing that always contributes to the demise of a relationship, it’s an addiction. So how do you know in 2 conversations with the guy you’re considering dating has an addiction?

A lot of men hide their addictions to drugs and alcohol very well, especially on the phone. Of course you’ll know he’s had alcohol addiction when he can’t order a drink on the first date. But why wait till then to find that out he’s been an addict and you don’t want to date him? Some men even hide alcohol addiction well after dating you for several months until they get you emotionally dependent on them. Then suddenly they’ve had too much to drink in front of you and gone into an alcoholic rage. Wouldn’t it be great if you could weed out those guys that have alcohol and drug addiction before you even meet him? The good news is: yes you can.

The one thing about men with addictions is that: they all have “addictive personalities”. How do you know if the guy has an addictive personality? If he does he will often have a serious obsession with doing some kind of hobby, or be obsessed about fantasizing about a goal in his life that he does things to plan for (like reading real estate for hours on end because one day he wants to buy a house down the shore). The point is, he takes a hobby or interest and brings it to the level of an obsession. So listen to the things he used to enjoy doing or is now doing with his life. How much did it or does it control his world? Ask him all about his hobbies. If he seems obsessively into something that he can’t seem to stop talking about doing, (and he will expect you to change your life to conform to the demands that his obsessive hobby makes on him), he usually has an addictive personality and possibly even more serious addictions, such as a sex addiction, work addiction, or alcohol/drug addiction. Guys like this will one day be obsessed with body building and the next day they will have a business project they obsessively spend time on and then that will disappear and they will become addicted to making miniature planes. Guys with addictive personalities do not hide their obsession from you.They talk about them constantly and fondly recollect past ones. DO NOT MEET OR DATE MEN WITH OBSESSIVE HOBBIES OR ADDICTIONS.

Red  Flag #7: His Attitude about his Kids

I have met many men on the internet whose entire social world consists of doing things with their children from a past marriage. You may be telling yourself, once he dates me he’ll spend time with me and his kids will take a back seat. The answer is no. If a man constantly talks to you about his kids and when you ask him what he did that week you realize that his social life consisted of taking his children shopping, you are always going to compete with his children for his love. A man with a healthy relationship with their kids also has friends he spends time with and does things with. Some men will give you a feeling in your gut that their daughter has become a substitute companion replacing their wife (in an emotional, not sexual way). DO NOT MEET OR DATE MEN LIKE THIS

Red Flag #8: His Attitude about Himself and his Life in General

There are happy men who love life, and then there are men who are angry, unhappy and miserable about their life. When you talk to a guy, you will know in your gut which kind he is. Men who are happy with life and themselves never complain about their “bad luck” and “misfortunes”. They find humor in things and they have an optimistic point of view. They don’t make sarcastic comments about life or people, such as, “My daughter came over the other day and took hold of my wallet again”. Guys who like life, like themselves and will be able to like you and make life a happy experience for you are guys who don’t seem to have a black cloud of bad luck that’s always following them in life. When a guy has that cloud of bad luck, it’s because he mentally brings it into his reality. You will know in your gut if you are talking to a happy guy who sees life with the glass half full or a guy who sees life with the glass always half empty. You will know when a guy carries that black cloud because there is impending doom in every aspect of his life: his job is on the line, he lost money, his friend swindled him, his car just broke down, he just had another fight with his brother, he just got another speeding ticket, etc. MEET THOSE GLASS HALF FULL GUYS.

The point to the Cheat Sheet is this: you have to believe that you deserve to be discerning. Exposure to lots of guys through the internet is fine, but dating lots of them until you just happen to click with one of them is a lesson in futility. You have the right to screen guys on the phone to make sure they don’t have the kind of attitude that will make you miserable being with them. You have to stop listening to those well intentioned friends and relatives who say to you, “just meet him, stop worrying about whether he is right for you, just give him a chance”. The pressure to just have someone to date to make everyone around you happy won’t be easy to avoid. But it’s because women buckle to that pressure that so many are in unfulfilling relationships that ultimately end. We must be selective about who we date. We deserve to date a guy without anger issues who has a positive attitude about his life. We must tell the universe we don’t want to spend our life with anyone who gives us that bad feeling in our gut. We must stop caring about having no one to date. We must allow the right guy into our life by not wasting time with the wrong one. So screen guys on the phone and be very selective. It’s your life’s happiness that’s at stake and that happiness is something you truly deserve.

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